One of the greatest mysteries of the MLG universe is how exactly Sanic is able to go so fast. It has been speculated by many top scientests, but nobody knows how exactly to go as fast as Sanic.
Well, don't worry, because this random article will teach YOU the secrets of SANIC!!!! I have finally, at long last, made a formula that should teach you...
HOW TO GO FAST!!!!!!!!! Edit
The first thing you'll need is some Speed Shoes. Speed Shoes are little red shoes packed with MLG power. It can be difficult to find them, but if you go to any second-hand pro gamer's store you should find a pair that fits your size. Or check out Sawneek's Schoolhouse. It always has tons of Speed Shoes on ready.
Once you have these special Speed Shoes, buy around 6-10 bottles of Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew is very common, you should have 6-10 bottles in no time. After this, take half of the bottles and pour the containments on your Speed Shoes. Now, take the other bottles and drink them all. You should be fast enough to drink all these bottles in 15 seconds, so HOP TO IT!!!!!!
Once you've done this, simply put on the Speed Shoes and you will quickly find yourself RUNNING FAST LIKE SANIC!!!! Congratulations, you've done it!!! With my help, you have become fast!!!! Now, I suggest you make use of your newfound powers!!!
Oh, and all these steps won't work if you're a scrub.